Definition:

The aftermath of a patient and their fecal incontinence. It plays on the ubiquitious hospital emergency color-code system.

Usage:

I have a monster code brown in 11. I haven't seen this much excrement since that bus of senior citizens careened off the road causing a simultaneous and bus-wide loss of sphincter control. Who wants to help me?

Synonyms:

defecate

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

A phenomenon brought on by the easy access to medical information online. A hypochondriac enabled by Google for self-diagnosis.

Usage:

As a first-year, I feel comfortable in diagnosing Sally as a Googlechondriac.

Synonyms:

hypochondriac

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

A most dangerous way to spend your time, oftentimes it leads to a visit to the Emergency Room.

Usage:

I was minding my own business when all of a sudden these two dudes came around the corner.

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

A phrase normally uttered by a surgeon to inform anesthesia they are not providing sufficient sedation to the patient. It can be said with varying degrees of annoyance or urgency.

Usage:

Hey, Ed, the patient is moving.

Synonyms:

is the patient relaxed?, what is the bis?, the patient is fighting, patient is trying to help, patient is putting on shoes, getting light, put another quarter in the anesthesia machine

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

Any sharp instrument or object such as hypodermic needles, suture needles, scalpel blades, IV catheters, and razor blades. Sharps are often disposable/single-use and then required to be disposed of in a sharps bin or sharps container.

Usage:

Circulator to Scrub: How many sharps?

Synonyms:

sharp

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

A Foley catheter has been successfully inserted into a penis.

Usage:

Alright, the penis is intubated. (pause for laughter)

Synonyms:

foley, catheter

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

A common explanation from patients for why they ended up in an emergency room. It's never just one guy, it's two guys. As to say, if it were only one assailant they could have taken them on no problem.

Usage:

There I was just minding my business when these two dudes came out of nowhere.

Synonyms:

two guys, group of guys, these guys

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

As elusive as catching a unicorn, it describes discharging all of your patients from service resulting in no in-patients for rounds the next morning.

Usage:

I'm about to Win the Game! Who wants to go for liver rounds?

Synonyms:

discharge

Created Jul 07, 2009

Definition:

The recipient of a turf.

Usage:

I got shafted twice today.

Synonyms:

turf, turfed

Created Jul 16, 2009

Definition:

Dirt Bag Index. One interpretation of the formula is as follows: DBI = number of tattoos divided by number of missing teeth, multiplied by number of "tracks" added to estimated days without a bath!

Usage:

Just got back from seeing a patient with a noxiously high DBI.

Synonyms:

dirt bag index

Created Jul 16, 2009

Definition:

Doctor who admits almost every patient he sees.

Usage:

It's not under staffing that's the problem, it's guys like Dr. D. that are sieves.

Created Aug 28, 2009

Definition:

Just like dad. An acronym used when charting to let people know that the patient's personality traits mimic those of his father. Usually reserved for rude or unintelligent patients.

Usage:

... hot temper, JLD ...

Created Dec 12, 2009

Definition:

To drop a patient's chart and everything falls out.

Usage:

Ah! Not again! Second chart dehiscence of the night!

Created Dec 14, 2009

Definition:

Literally, it means "above the tentorium", but it loosely means "in the brain cortex," implying that something is all in a patient's head.

Usage:

This patient's condition is supratentorial.

Synonyms:

figment of the imagination

Created Dec 21, 2009

Definition:

A strange patient, usually one whose eccentricities make your life difficult. There is a related adjective, "squirrelly." A common aphorism is "Squirrels get sick, too", used as a reminder not to dismiss such a patient's concerns out of hand because they may actually have a real problem.

Usage:

Nurse 1: My patient just wants attention.

Nurse 2: Probably. But squirrels get sick, too.

Created Dec 26, 2009

Definition:

The four main causes of unexplained restlessness, agitation, or combativeness in patients with altered mental status: hypoxemia, hypoglycemia, hypovolemia, high bladder.

Usage:

She was hitting on three of the four Hs when I popped into her room an hour ago.

Created Jan 14, 2010

Definition:

A diagnosis which may be faddish, not proven to exist, or physiologically explained. It could also refer to a diagnosis described without specificity, and thus so broadly inclusive to the point of being scientifically useless

Usage:

Well, we could go with your wastebasket diagnosis, or we could stop trying to be Greg House and figure out what's really wrong with him.

Created Jan 14, 2010

Definition:

An expensive, extensive, intensive, and sometimes painful diagnostic evaluation initiated by a particular patient complaint.

Usage:

He came in with his x-rays in hand and was complaining that he had the "worst headache of his life," so we gave him a million-dollar workup.

Created Jan 18, 2010

Definition:

An admitted patient.

Usage:

That's my sixth admit of the night! I was hoping to study for my GREs tonight, but I guess that's out of the question.

Synonyms:

admission

Created Jan 30, 2010

Definition:

A patient who cannot or will not be moved to another medical facility, either due to a shortage of beds or because of the patient’s refusal.

Usage:

We have four or five bed-blockers on the unit tonight.

Created Feb 05, 2010