An approximation of a patient's sanity based on the number of tattoos covering his or her body. The more tattoos (more than five or six), the more likely they are to be crazy.
Usage:
Well, per the tattoo titer, he should be nuttier than a fruitcake.
Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy. Homeopathy is a form of alternative medicine, first proposed by German physician Samuel Hahnemann in 1796, that treats patients with heavily diluted preparations which are thought to cause effects similar to the symptoms presented. Homeopathic remedies are prepared by serial dilution with shaking by forceful striking, which homeopaths term "succussion," after each dilution under the assumption that this increases the effect of the treatment. Homeopaths call this process "potentization". Dilution often continues until none of the original substance remains.
Usage:
Boy, nothing's working. Perhaps we should employ the TEETH philosophy.
Telemetry. A telemetry unit is one in which specialized machines are used by the hospital staff to monitor various vitals of a patient, e.g. blood pressure, temperature, rate of breathing, heart rhythms, etc. Patients often go to a tele floor, often called a step-down ICU, after leaving the ICU to be further monitored until they are stable.
Usage:
Geoff, the really hairy new nurse on the tele floor, keeps trying to ask me out. He's nice and all, but he looks like the lovechild of Gigantopithecus and Alf.
Geodon. It's an atypical antipsychotic drug approved for the treatment of schizophrenia. It's also been prescribed for acute treatment of mania and mixed states associated with bipolar disorder.
Usage:
Dave just told me that he believes that he's Bumblee Man from The Simpsons. It's time for the big G.
A common explanation from patients for why they ended up in an emergency room. It's never just one guy, it's two guys. As to say, if it were only one assailant they could have taken them on no problem.
Usage:
There I was just minding my business when these two dudes came out of nowhere.